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Meditation and Self Awareness
Releasing Techniques
Affirmations

SELF DEVEOPMENT

There are many reasons for being interested in self development. Maybe you want to feel happier. Maybe you want to be develop interpersonal skills so that you can improve your success at work, or in your social life. Maybe you are interested in how the mind works, or want to realise your full potential. Perhaps you are not happy with the way your life has gone so far and are interested in what you can do to change things. Whatever your reasons you will find information on various approaches on this website.

This section is constantly growing. If a particular approach or book has really helped you then please let us know. We welcome articles and recommendations, anything that might help our readers.

Meditation and Developing Self Awareness

For me this is the most powerful and long lasting approach. Self awareness and self acceptance can be the most powerful transforming tools. Through learning to meditate we can find inner peace and let go of the turmoil of our thoughts and the external world.

I would start by setting aside some time each day to meditate. This doesn't have to be long, just 5 mins a day to start with will help. Find somewhere quiet and comfortable to sit. You don't need to sit on the floor, a chair is fine. Make sure you won't be disturbed. Take the phone off the hook. I would suggest a simple approach like focusing on your breath. Just notice what happens, don't try to change anything, don't fight yourself. Notice your thoughts, bodily sensations, emotions, etc. At first you will probably find that your mind wanders and you may feel agitated or restless. This is all fine. Just allow whatever is to be and be patient. As you practice you will find that you can do this for longer and that it becomes easier. However, you will have days when stillness comes easily and others where it seems to allude you completely. That is all fine.

The next step is to take your meditation into your daily life. When you feel anxious or angry during the day take a moment to stop and listen to yourself. Focus inward on your bodily sensations and your emotions. Just a minute can be enough to reduce the intensity of your emotions. It may take time to remember to do this and that's fine. Over time it will become more of a habit. You may like to introduce short periods of meditation throughout your day. Some people do one minute every hour. If that seems like too much try one minute every three hours. Whatever feels possible for you is a good place to start.

I would also recommend reading the following book to get you started:

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Find more recommended books here

You might also like to visit our Meditation page.

Releasing Techniques

These are methods of letting go of the emotions and negative patterns that hold us back. They are based on the idea that we can choose to let go, or release what is holding us back. Sometimes through the use of words alone and sometimes by combining words with the tapping of energy points on the body.

We use up an enormous amount of energy holding on to anger, resentment, fear etc. and by letting them go we can feel re-energised and freer than ever before. So can these 'quick fix' methods work? Well some people swear by one particular method, whilst others will say another method is the only one that works for them. Like so many 'cures' different things seem to work for different people. Here are a few of the more popular ones that you might like to try.

EFT

The Sedona Technique

Affirmations

During our childhood we hear many messages from our parents and others around us. When we are small these messages tend to go straight into our subconscious without any filtering. We tend to accept whatever we are told about ourselves and the world, whether its good or bad. Some of the messages we get may be helpful e.g. 'you can do that', 'i love you', 'you are good enough', but others are less helpful 'you are so untidy', 'why are you always so noisy', 'its a shame you don't look more like your mother' etc. In some cases messages can be very damaging e.g. 'you are useless', nobody will ever love you', 'you will never amount to anything'. These early messages can become really well embedded and effect our personality in later lives. Some will support us, others will undermine us.

As we grow older most of us learn to filter messages and we are less likely to accept negative things that people we meet say to us. However, the messages from our childhood often remain unchallenged and continue to effect us. Those early messages may themselves shape our mental filter, so that we are left vulnerable to certain types of familiar criticism. For example if our parents always told us we were pretty but not very clever, as an adult we may reject any negative comments about our appearance as being obviously stupid, but accept without question negative comments about our intelligence.

Affirmations are one way to tackle these early childhood messages. By repeating positive phrases to ourselves on a daily basis we can start to wear away at some of those early messages and replace them with positive ones. First of all pick an issue that you wish to tackle. As an example perhaps your parents always told you you were clumsy. You need to come up with a positive phrase that counters this belief. e.g. 'I have excellent poise and balance', or 'I am graceful'. Don't use a negative phrase, such as 'I'm not clumsy' as your subconscious tends to ignore the negative word 'not' and just hear 'I am clumsy'. Having created your positive phrase repeat it to yourself 20 times every morning. Saying it to yourself in the mirror can be an especially effective technique.

I found affirmations to be especially effective for me when I first started doing self development work. Later on I found them less effective, I think because I had done so much self development work that I'd addressed all the more obvious, 'easier' things and for me the affirmations weren't enough to work on the deeper stuff. However, I know other people who continue to find affirmations helpful after many years of self work, so why not try them and see if they work for you.

Remember:

Affirmations should always use positive language
Affirmations should always be in the present ('I am perfect', not 'I will be perfect'
Keep saying them everyday for at least a couple of weeks, don't give up after a couple of days
Saying them in the mirror is more powerful
Use language that works for you. Copying other peoples affirmations can be helpful, but rephrase them if the language doesn't feel right. Your subconscious responds more easily to familiar phrases
Don't try and do too many at a time
Aim to feel positive when you do the affirmations, this will make them more effective
Do change to new affirmations when you feel ready to
If you forget to do them one day, don't feel bad, just do them as soon as you remember

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ARTICLES

Have Your Fears Created Your Reality? by Jock Brocas
Accept Your Fear and Just Do It by Jock Brocas
Mental Health: Howz Yourz? should you try to be more or simply be you by Yvete McCann
What is Neuro Linguistic Programming? by Christel Thimont
Gestalt Counselling by Nancy Hine
What is NLP? by Greg Newton
The Conscious and the Unconscious Mind: Like the Rose and the Thorn? by Amreeta Aujayeb

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Meditation and Developing Self Awareness

Releasing Techniques

EFT

The Sedona Technique

Affirmations

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